Department of Delusion: Comcast Takes Credit for Google Fiber, Unicorns, and Kittens

In what can only be assumed as a fit of insanity or confusion, several dozen US Mayors came out Friday with a letter to Chairman Wheeler, praising Comcast and demanding that the cable monopoly be allowed to take over Time Warner Cable. Given that Comcast and Time Warner Cable are among the most hated corporations in America, perhaps these math wiz mayors think two negatives will produce a postive?

In light of all the evidence against Comcast’s track record for customer service, its glacial pace at upgrading Internet access, and its false promises for investment, we find the letter absurd, at best. But then it contains this gem:

Since the Comcast Time Warner Cable transaction was proposed, Google has announced plans to expand its high-speed Fiber service to 34 new communities. 

Wow! Comcast wants to take credit for Google's investment in fiber networks? An investment by Google that is only necessary because the big cable companies have refused to meet the growing demand of our communities with better services?

This got us thinking, what else can Comcast take credit for since it announced the merger?

  • Since Comcast announced the merger, the Large Hadron Collider has not created a black hole large enough to destroy the Earth. #thankyouComcast
  • Since Comcast announced the merger, millions of kittens have been adopted #thankyouComcast
  • Since Comcast announced the merger, we have a potential Ebola vaccine #thankyouComcast
  • Since Comcast announced the merger, Bruce Willis has not had to blow up an asteroid to save our planet. #thankyouComcast

Check out our #ThankYouComcast hashtags on Twitter, Retweet them, add your own, and share with friends, family, and all your local officials. And if you’re living in one of the cities where your mayor sold you out for Comcast’s bottom line, make sure they know just how ludicrous their letter is, they’re clearly very out-of-touch with their constituencies.

Read the full letter here. And please, take a minute to file comments with the FCC on this merger. Due by Monday afternoon, August 25th.